S . O . S . - I'M SENDING UP THE SMOKE SIGNAL - I NEED ENCOURAGEMENT
So, somebody that I love has said some very hurtful things to me. I am very upset. I have been struggling and fighting the urge to just give in and eat something NOT on my life change plan. It has been so hard for three days now. I fear I may be losing the fight. If I don't get some encouragement and support to keep me focused, I may resort to my old bad habits of eating to ease my emotions.
I don't want to. I have been so good, considering just how much I am hurting right now. I have been flying high. Feeling good. Making progress. Feeling proud of myself for maintaining this plan and my resolve. I once again have to give myself over to GOD and let him be strong for me because I am weakening, but I DON'T want to. Why do people always have to harsh some one's high? Can't we all just love and support each other, and be happy for their successes?
It has taken me all weekend to realize and convince myself to stay the path and remain strong because I am doing this for myself, so I feel worthy all on my own - not because someone else validates me. I will make it through this. I will lose this weight. It would be nice if I didn't care what people said or thought about me, but I do. I am human, you know. I have all the emotions of a skinny person. Even if society finds my obesity unacceptable, I am a person with all the rights and feelings everyone else has. Watch the way you talk to me! I am not having it anymore!
I made 2 loaves of Poviticia (Sweet nut roll bread) for my sister yesterday, and she left one here for the kids. I wish she had taken them both. My little bit doesn't like it because of the nuts, and my son said he would eat some, but hasn't yet. That loaf of bread keeps catching my eye and seems to be calling me to eat it. I shouldn't even be feeling this kind of pressure. Three days ago, it would not have bothered me. Today, I am fighting against some ingrained instincts to stay away from it. I have decided that when my son gets home that he needs to take it to his room, so I don't see it any more! Out of sight - out of mind. Remove the temptation, so I can win this battle! Hey, sometimes, you need to run and hide, or in this case hide the enemy and run away, to live o fight another day. It's not fair that someone else can have such a disastrous affect on me. Send encouragement and prayers for me, so that I can prevail!
TODAY'S STATS
Green Tea = 1; Water = 7; Fruit = 1 grapefruit; Probiotics = 2 yogurts; Proteins = ground beef, chicken breast; Vegetables = cabbage, onions, mushrooms, green beans; Friendly Fats = 2 Tbs. Olive Oil; Legumes - basmati rice; Friendly starches = baked potato; Outlook = In God's hands right now...
Prayers prayers prayers!! You can do it. I will lift you up in prayer Rebecca. You are so strong, stronger than me, as I haven't the will power to tackle this weight battle yet! You are amazing, as I am still struggling with keeping 8 cups of water in me. Please remember, God has this under control :)
ReplyDelete~Heather Duffin
Thank you so much Heather. You can do this too! First you have to get your mind right - your'e gonna have to clean house, you know that. Our mind is the root to all our problems. Seek your answers there. I am learning to love myself so I don't have to rely on others to make me feel worthy, and use food to feel good when they let me down. That is my current battle. Don't give up. Any single day that you can change even one thing about your usual day - eating something healthy or exercising a little, is a day you can count as a success! Don't think if you didn't do it all perfetly, that it doesn't count and doesn't matter. It does! Baby Steps! Prayers, Prayers, Prayers for you too!
ReplyDeleteI needed that....
ReplyDeleteBecky! You know you can do this. Don't let them get you down, I don't know who it was or why they did it. But I hope you put them in their place. See, skinny people don't get it. They have never been in our place and they just don't understand. Until they have walked in our shoes, they will never understand. Being critical never helps anyone. You stay strong, forget what others say. One day you are going to show them and make them eat their words. When you lose this weight, they won't have anything to say. I am sure they won't apologize either since they won't see that they did anything wrong. Hang in there, and call me. Yes, I am busy, but so what? You can still call me. Love you.
ReplyDeleteYou go girl!!! Please don't give up!!!!! We're all behind you!!!
ReplyDelete