Day Five - Cycle Three (Day 39) Tuesday

STRUGGLING TO MAINTAIN CONTROL...

     I have unfinished business with my loved one that is haunting me.  I have tried to push it aside after writing the letter - hoping I can calm down enough to edit it but still be authentic and true to myself.  Ignoring it, while trying to get to that point has been manifesting in other ways for me.  For instance, being hungry right after eating.  Craving things with a fierceness.  Allowing myself to talk me into eating things I should say no to.

     Today finds me down in Santa Monica helping friends do some important tasks.  I worked with them for 12 hours straight.  We broke for lunch around 2 for an hour.  This schedule made it difficult to follow my diet.  I did have my lemon water, yogurt and apple this morning.  I also brought an apple with me so I could have a snack when I got hungry, which I did, and which I ate.  Then for lunch, we ate at the hotel restaurant.  I ordered a Cesar chicken salad, no croutons.  I drank 2 waters and a green tea.  All good up to that point.
     No more food until around 9 pm.  Two big mistakes, waiting so long in between meals, and eating at such a late hour.  Then, everyone decided Mexican was going to be for dinner, which is my favorite, but not the easiest to eat healthy with.  I decided to eat the chicken fajitas because at Chili's their chicken fajitas were 350 calories, which isn't bad, but I always opt for the grilled chicken and broccoli when at chili's because that is only 150 calories.  I felt the fajitas was as good as I was going to get there.  I also allowed myself to eat chips and guacamole.  That was a big mistake because they were so delicious I just kept going until the food arrived.  So, fajitas and iced tea for dinner.  I didn't feel bad about that.  I enjoyed it and figured I would control the rest of the cycle better, so it wouldn't make a difference on my bottom line.
    I ended the evening with an aching body and feet, but satisfied tummy. 

TODAY'S STATS

Green Tea = 2; Water = 5; Probiotics = 1 yogurt; Fruit = 2 apples; Proteins = Grilled chicken breast; Veggies = romaine lettuce, tomatoes, green bell peppers, onions, mushrooms; Friendly Fats = 0; Other = tortilla chips, guacamole