Good Morning America! How are you? I am feeling great and looking better every day! I am even waking up earlier everyday/ I have been up since 7. I usually get baby girl off to school, and then go back t sleep (usually because I have insomnia and don't go to bed until late) However, I am finding that I am feeling much better. Sleeping much better. I stopped taking my medications for depression, anxiety, and my water pills because I haven't needed them. All of the food I eat is designed to get rid of excess water in my system, and believe me it does! I am in the restroom more than ever! Movies that only last week would have me bawling are barely registering moist eyes - like the lake house or the one that used to always get me - A Time to Kill where the little black girl gets beaten, raped, urinated o, hung, and dumped in the river! Its a tear- jerker, and I only welded up some moisture for it, a little tear fell during the trial summations - you know where Matthew McCaughnahey tells her story. I have to say, I have never felt better.
You know, while I was eating all that bad food that tasted so good, I didn't realize how much harm it was doing to me physically, emotionally, and mentally. I feel like I have new lease on life! I'm gonna wear it out! I decided that I am going to add stories, details, and incidentals to my blog so that it doesn't become a boring hum drum of statistics for the day. The first thing I wanted to tell everyone who is wondering how much, if anything I have lost to date, that I am only weighing myself every 17 days! My first weigh date will be Tuesday, March 1, 2011. That will be the first day of cycle two for me, where my diet will change. I may even get bold enough to post a picture of myself. Thus far, I am too embarrassed for the people who have not seen me in years to see me like this. I literally feel like I have been swallowed up in a fat suit!
My usual response to family or friends who tell me to take a look at their "six pack" is to tell them to check out my "kegger." I, like most fat people, use humor to hide my shame and sadness over being so large. Well don't cry for me Argentina (quote from Evita - anyone who knows me, knows I like to quote lines from movies I have seen - it's a family tradition) because like Cher's song from Burlesque (FABULOUS movie BTW) "You haven't seen the last of me!" I have been brought to my knees, I v''e been pushed beyond breaking, but don't count me out! I can take it. I'll be back on my feet again! I found that song so inspirational at a time in my life where very little inspired me. I connected with the lyrics, and then felt them in my soul. That is where change began for me...
Ok! Down to business. Woke up to my usual Lemon Water. Moved into my usual breakfast of yogurt and an apple. I had strawberries before 2:00! A large green leafy salad with mushrooms and my Kefir probiotic ranch dressing with Turkey chunks. It was taco salad for dinner made with ground turkey and taco seasoning, fat free sour cream (1 spoonful) and salsa! Yum Yum! Since the family was eating it with me and I was having company over, I also made some boiled cabbage with a turkey sausage. The salad was fabulous (just wanted more). The cabbage didn't work for me - the sausage ruined it - I do not recommend that recipe. at all! Bleck!
Today's stats are as follows: Green Tea = 5; Water = 9 !!! (did you hear that I drank more than required! Yippee) Probiotics - 2 plus dressing as extra; Turkey = 2 meals; veggies = more than covered!
Tonight was the first time I actually felt like I wasn't satisfied and wanted more (I think if I had eaten more salad and left the cabbage alone I might have been fine, but there wasn't enough salad to eat. Tonight was also the first time that I wanted something sweet. It hit me when my friend left, and I think it might have been an emotional response rather than a hunger thing. I had my yogurt and tea and water and it went away. It was only a tiny hint of a yearning, and it went away, so I feel blessed for that. My friend is going on vacation with some of her other friends and I won't get to see her for about 10 days, and I think it was a response to my anticipated missing of her company being around and available. Loneliness is a big eating emotion for me. I overcame it this time and feel great about it
All in all a good day..
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