Hello again.
I know it's been a while since I blogged, and that, along with other things, needs to change. I have sort of drifted on the diet plan for a moment. I have been doing some thinking and soul searching, and I have decided that maybe doctor Moreno is right! Perhaps I should have gone onto cycle three and then back to cycle one because I have gotten so sick of looking at and eating the same food, I cannot even force myself to buy all of those vegetables I was eating with so much gusto only 2 months ago.
I was worried that I would like eating all of the new items so much that I would fall back into my old eating habits, but instead I have been feeling extraordinarily frustrated with the limited choices in foods I have and frankly, I am sick of eating all the same things - all the time.
I am taking a week off of the diet - still watching what I eat, drinking plenty of water and eating my probiotics. No lemon water for the duration, and I am expanding my food base, but watching portion controls. I actually have stopped eating huge plates of vegetables with my meals,and have gotten them down to normal portions. I have been eating only one chicken breast and a regular portions of veggies for meals, instead of the 2 breasts and tons of veggies I started with. Hmmm. I wonder how much of that has to do with being sick of it? What ever it is, I get full and feel satisfied. I think in the beginning, I like so many people, thought I wasn't going to get enough to eat and didn't want to be hungry. However, that changed as I saw I could have as much veggies as I wanted.
Bottom line is, cycle four ended the other day with me down one pound - back to my weight at the end of cycle two (because I had gained one pound after cycle three, but lost inches). I have lost more inches, although I am not sure how many for this cycle because my computer burned out and my stats were on there. However, I do have my beginning measurements (I wrote those on paper until I put them in a chart on my computer), and I have lost more than 13 3/4" - not including my leg measurements because I did not take them at my first measure - so I do not know how much they went down overall.
I am feeling pretty good. I weighed myself this morning and I have lost another 4 pounds = that put me under another benchmark goal I have been striving to get under!!! Yippee! I am so amazed because I have not been strictly following the diet plan - but I am aware of my eating habits more than usual. Wow! Perhaps this old dog is learning new tricks after all.
I have been rutting around in the garage, opening up all my boxes stored there, trying to condense the junk and store the memories better. I found a few helpful books. I can tell just how long I have been trying to control my weight by all of the different books (Dr. Phil, Biggest Loser, Fat Calories, Why I am fat, 6 week body make over, etc.) and equipment I found out there (resistant bands, exercise balls, videos, etc.). I am sure all of you who are in this struggle know what I mean. I even found a bunch of bottles of pills (candida cleanse, colon cleanse, fat burning, vitamins, fish oil, etc.) Wow! I really have been at this thing for a lifetime. I am still hoping to beat it this time. I know I will always have to be aware of what I eat, and mix that with some exercise, but I hope to lose this weight and only have to worry about not putting it back on again - instead of worrying about how to lose it all over again - year after year.
I decided to bring in some of those video workouts and exercise paraphernalia to see if I can't put them to some good use, since they've just been sitting around wasting away.
I don't know if anyone is even still following me since I haven't been dedicated to writing every day. I must do better. I know I do better when I write it all down and put it out there for the universe to know what I have been up to. Honestly though, I don't want to tell you all (or admit to myself) all of the things I have enjoyed in the past few days - it's amazing that I am losing instead of gaining. Well, if I am being honest, and I am - I have been trying things here and there that I want to taste, but I have not been gorging on them. A simple bite or two usually does the trick. Also, those things do not taste as good as I thought they would, and I am unsure if its because I don't eat sugar things anymore or because I feel guilty for eating them when I don't need them.
On a brighter note, I believe I have my issues worked out with my loved one. That feels like a huge relief and burden off my shoulders. It is disappointing that I could not just be enough for myself through that tragedy. I am hoping to do better in that area. I am learning to love me afterall. I do deserve my love. I am worthy! I am wonderful. I love you Rebecca! Smooches. (Is that going too far? NO! I would kiss anyone else I love! so, smooches!
I still need to go back and do the exercises from that psychiatrist (blog doc), but I have implemented one of her suggestions for a happier, healthier lifestyle - that is to schedule more activities in my life that don't revolve around food. So, last weekend I found out Prince was in town - and my friend Di and I went! AMAZING! I have only been to one concert in my entire life and it was Prince in 1984! So, my second concert, Prince 2011! He is still a musical genius! Still looks and sounds great. He did a tribute to Michael Jackson which was awesome. Alicia Keys sang "How come you don't call me anymore?" with him. Cuba Gooding Jr. danced on the stage! Like I said - AMAZING! Plus, I got some friends together to start a bowling team and we begin bowling on May 12 once a week for ten weeks! I am so excited about that. I am looking around for other things, but this is a start. I have to say that it feels good to find things to do that do not revolve around food. I sat and thought about that for a while and for the last umpteen years, everything I planned had to do with where or what we were going to eat. It has rarely ever been a plan for fun and activity first. I actually like this new way of doing things. I feel like I am really living again instead of just sitting around getting bigger and more depressed. I hope you all are feeling what I am saying. I have rejoined the living and am carving out a life I want to live instead of letting my life live me.
Have a great day everyone!! (if anyone is still out there!) I hope that you are getting everything you need to live the life you want.
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